remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
