I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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