Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
