Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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