oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
