Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
