I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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