Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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