i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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