Say something about gay babies.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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