its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
