You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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