There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
