Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
