but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
