ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
