It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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