porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
