Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
