how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
