Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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