I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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