Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Say something about gay babies.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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