You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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