I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
