New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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