Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
