Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
