am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I want a musical about memes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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