spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
