oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
