Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
