wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
