Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
