i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
