It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
