I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Congratulations! We have a period
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
