a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
