I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
