we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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