bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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