im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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