a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
