Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
