i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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