I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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