Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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