we're blogging at a bar
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
