well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
