I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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