Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
