Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
