i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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