we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
