Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
